I guess I am a bad blogger because I never post! Well my first job ended up being more time consuming than I might have imagined. I thought I would have more time post college than I would when I was in college. But I honestly felt like I had much less time. Working nights was is the worst! I never felt normal, I always felt like I didn't get enough sleep, and lacked any real motivation to do anything with my time off because I was always tired, yet I would sit around and NOT sleep, thus continue to feel horrible because I hadn't slept, and continue to not do anything with myself those days off. I also got a puppy 2 weeks after I started my job! Which in hindsight was a mistake. If I had ever planned on reclaiming my life I had somewhat lost in nursing school, starting a new stressful night job and getting an 8 week old puppy were not good ideas. The job is now old news almost. I've been there 8 months now... and the puppy is now 10 months. Fortunately I lucked out on the pup, because after his 5th month of life he just had a switch in his brain flip and he started acting like a mature well behaved adult dog, as opposed to the energetic neurotic obstinate fluffy freak show that had formerly taken up residence in my living room.
So I was just starting to get things under control after the shock of such a life change, having been in school since I was 3, then suddenly being "free" from it. And what did I do? I turned right around and applied to nurse practitioner school! A few people don't understand why I would want to go back so soon (after all I am barely a good nurse yet! that doesn't happen until at least your first year is over) but most other people are encouraging. "Get all that schooling done when you're young. Its so much harder when you're older." I have been so excited about becoming a nurse practitioner, I've been almost obsessed. I spent all my free time looking at job postings, dreaming up big plans, joining the AANP as a student member, reading my assessment and pharm books from my BSN. Then my classes started June 1. I am currently taking "Role Development" and "Health Policy". This fall I am excited to get into learning the nitty gritty. I am excited to learn the real stuff. I wish there were more practice related classes and less nancy pancy fluff classes but what are you going to do? Having lived through most of a first year as a nurse, I am not looking forward to getting beaten down again and balling for lack of preparedness for reality when I graduate FNP school but, I guess that's what I signed up for. Being that I am only 23, I see it as I'll have a good 42 years as an NP before I retire if we're supposed to retire at 67 now, so one day at least I can look forward to being really good at what I do =) but now I have signed up for a good 5 more years (2 in grad school and 3 in practice) of not having a clue of what I am doing and a couple more after that of only basically knowing!
Winnie Tenenbaum, future FNP
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